Bitter Ends
by Red Smurf Yellow Duck
Summary: WARNING: SPOILER for BOOK 5...Remus' POV after OoTP. A bit angsty...can't say much more without giving it away


WARNING: Huge spoiler for BOOK 5! Do not read if you have not finished it!

Megan, Yellow Duck wrote this, and it was edited and loved by Caitlin, Red Smurf, therefore, it goes under our joint account. Fankies to Cait and Jenn who were, as usual, my first critics. ^_^

Disclaimer: JK owns Remus, Peter, James, Sirius, Lily and Harry. We own Sam. Huzzah! 

A/N: This is kinda a follow up of Megan's fic, Twilight (posted under dujourfan1). No need to read that to understand this. This is a bit darker than that. Oh, and Sam is in Careers, Spouses, Babies, and Houses, also written by us. SO, yeah…

I still can't believe it. Neither could Harry the poor lad. The mind has a hard time accepting death and loneliness. And after all I've been through, you'd have thought it might have penetrated my thick skull by now. 

I've had a life far from easy or good. Bitten to become a werewolf as a young child, I learned that most people take the safe path. Part of that is not befriending and certainly not helping a werewolf. Well, I assure you, the 'safe path' was not meant for Sirius or James. Not only were they my friends even after they found out about my 'condition,' but they helped me every month. 

After Hogwarts, I had quite a time finding a job, as most people don't like working with someone who just might bite you. Why, I can't imagine. 

I finally landed something as an on-and-off reporter for the Daily Prophet in my area of expertise - the Dark Arts. The job didn't pay much and I couldn't work often enough to have nice things and frequently had to eat at James' in order not to starve. 

James had married Lily shortly after graduation. She was fiery and had a lot of spirit but her heart was gold. Helped James settle down even though it was Sirius who needed the settling. 

He lived in his own flat seeing girls on and off but he never met someone quite like Sam again. She was always a sore subject for him and we learned eventually not to bring her up in front of him. After her, he was never the same. 

I think when James and Lily asked him to be Harry's godfather he gained some of his old spirit. But that didn't stop him from suspecting me as a spy or persuading Lily and James to use Peter as Secret-Keeper, a decision he would come to regret. 

He spent twelve years in Azkaban and for twelve years I believed he had a right to be there. It wasn't until he became the first person to break out of there, using his animagus form, of course, and when I saw the Marauder's Map that I knew I had been a fool to believe that Padfoot, the most loyal of all of us, had betrayed his best friends. I had also been a fool to see Wormtail as the poor, valiant soul who had tried to confront Sirius after is 'betrayal.' 

Upon leaving Hogwarts for the second time, I felt some of the old, invincible spark back in me. After twelve years of loneliness and grief I had my friend back. 

When, after Harry's fourth year, Dumbledore had reinstated the Order, I felt as though I were twenty-three again; young, fearless, but no longer ignorant nor inexperienced. And, although he hated it, Padfoot returned to his mothers' house. He had a place to live and his dear godson was there for the end of the summer and Christmas with him. 

If you ask me, despite this, life was far from being back to normal for Padfoot. He wasn't cleared of his charges, and was confined to a place he hated most. If it hadn't been for Harry I'd have no doubt he'd have gone and let the ministry find him and send him back to Azkaban rather than stay at Grimmauld Place. But then again, if it hadn't been for Harry, a lot of things wouldn't have happened. 

I know Harry blames himself. But Sirius marched in there on his own accord. And I know Sirius could tell him a thing or two about blaming yourself. Merlin knows he did it for fourteen years. 

And here I sit dependable old Moony. Four friends dead and gone, one's grave quite fresh, another's next to it, waiting for more than a decade to be reunited, while two others have rested side by side for quite some time. While another friend, a traitor sits with the Dark Lord bidding his time. Here I sit, alone, as always. Here I sit to be left with memories of happier times until I, like the rest, reach my bitter end. 

AN: Hoped you liked it as much as Cait and Jenn did. Although, I'm sorry, Cait, Sam doesn't get to 'sleep with the fishes' in this ficcy. O_0 PLEASE, REVIEW!!! 


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